Things That Didn't Happen.

I told him that I loved him more than anyone I had ever maybe loved before. I sat on my knees in bed while he packed, and I thought of how his hands now busied with zippers were better used between sheets and sighs. I think he knew I would always be full of maybes because I never seem to settle on anything too long.

When he looked at me the blue in his eyes made me remember what it felt like the first time I could meet his eyes at all, but maybe it's just that some days it seems my whole life has been a series of blue-eyed men telling me that it's time for them to leave again.

I realized a week ago that my father's eyes are like mine though and not theirs, so it doesn't hurt as much as it once would.